The Delusional Gene

I don't know if you are aware, but most men possess a gene that women do not. Why most men you ask? Because throughout history there have been a few men who did not possess this gene. I call this gene the delusional gene.

What does the delusional gene do? Well, the delusional gene allows men to believe things about themselves that, in reality, are just not true. What kind of things? Well, have you ever met a man who believed that he was 'God's gift to women', when he clearly was not? Have you ever met a man who claimed he was the best athlete on the hockey team, when he could hardly stand up on the ice? Have you ever been to the grocery store and saw a man who acted like he was dressed in the full on 007 tuxedo and ready for the adventure, when he was actually wearing sweats and a dirty t-shirt? I give you the delusional gene at work! It crosses all economic, cultural and educational lines and affects the actions of all men to a greater or lesser degree.

This gene shows itself early on. You see it when boys begin their journey through the mine field of puberty. Ladies, did you ever wonder why boys felt the need to pull your pig tails? Fart loudly in class or the theatre? Make faces? Act idiotically? These are all early manifestations of the delusional gene. They truly believed that every one of these actions clearly showed that they liked you and that each of these actions would impress you so much that you would automatically fall head over heals in love with them.

Kind of explains the actions of little Billy now doesn't it?

Why am I talking about this greatest of all manly mysteries? Because it seems that the delusional gene is in decline. Recently a new product has hit store shelves that shows the erosion of this truly male gene. The product—Manty Hose! Control top panty hose for men. What is the world coming to? Come on men. Fight the urge! Embrace your heritage! Do we really need manty hose? I say no. Embrace your inner man and fight against this latest attack on your manhood, stand up to the out of control commercialism that thought up this product-- or at least buy a cute pair of pumps to show off your calves.