Friday, January 16, 2009

The Death of Manners

The other day I went to the grocery store to get some things we were low on. You know, staples like milk, cereal, bread, fruit and the like. When I was entering the store a gentleman (I use the term loosely) was coming out of the store. He had several things in his hands and so I opened the door and held it for him to exit. To my amazement he did not even look at me let alone say thank you. He just walked right on by as if nothing had happened. No big deal I thought. Perhaps he has things on his mind. But this got me to thinking. Are we becoming more and more uncivil to each other?

As I proceeded through the store, I made a point of being courteous and minding my manners. You know, saying please and thank you, excuse me, that kind of thing. Very few of the people I encountered replied or even acknowledged my courtesy. Most of those who did reply grunted or looked at me with an odd expression. The one person who said thank you and really meant it was an older lady who could not reach an item on a high shelf. She was genuinely thankful for the help I gave her and told me so. You know what? I appreciated that. For me it was no big deal to reach up and get the item. For her, it meant that she could continue her shopping, without having to take time to search out someone to help her.

When I had finished my shopping and returned to the parking lot the first thing I saw was a woman leaving her car. Not only was she parked in a handicap space but had no visible signs of impairment or a parking permit allowing her to park there. As she exited her car she locked it and left it running! As I passed the car I was about to say something but the look she gave me was one of complete defiance. I said nothing and continued on my way. Should I have spoken up? Probably. Would the ensuing argument have been worth pointing out the error of her actions? Probably not. If a person is ignorant enough to take a parking spot from someone who legitimately needs it and pollute the environment, it probably would not have made a difference. I placed my groceries in the car and headed home… right after noting the make and model of the car and her license plate number. Passive aggressive? Maybe. Satisfying? Absolutely!

When the little things like manners no longer matter, what do we have left? Are they worth keeping around? Should we worry about saying please and thank you? I believe we should. When a society leaves behind the little social niceties, how much longer until the larger ones are left behind as well?

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