Congratulations! You May Have Already Won!

Ever get one of those prize envelopes in the mail? They're from a major publisher that provides a monthly 'digest' of short excerpts of stories and articles. They seem to have a never ending contest in which people try and win thousands of dollars. If you subscribe to said magazine then you know what I'm talking about. If not let me enlighten you.

Every couple of months a manila envelope arrives in the mail, which contains official looking documents extolling the fact that you have been issued a series of code numbers and that 'You may have already won," the super grand prize. Included in the 'prize pack' are stickers which have to be placed on the proper piece of paper and need to be returned to the prize department. Also included are special offers for books, and subscriptions and other equally useless items which it would seem might, may, could, enhance your chances of winning that aforementioned big prize.

By the time you manage get the proper stickers in the proper place, you might qualify for an advanced degree in spatial dynamics. The process seems designed to weed out people who could not possibly handle the thousands of dollars up for grabs. After jumping through the hoops you have to send the whole package back, at your expense, after noting your prize codes 'for your records'.

But why not take the chance to win some money? Maybe I'll win! Sure, whatever you think.

I used to jump through the hoops myself. I admit it. I'm not above trying to win money and trips. My car is getting old. But what killed the whole thing for me was the notice that came that said, "You are one of 6 people in New Brunswick in the final contest round," or something like that. You get a little excited when you see that, in spite of yourself.

Thousands of people spend thousands of dollars on stuff they don't need or want just to get a chance to win the grand prize. Envelopes come on an almost monthly basis and no matter what you try you never seem to get any closer to the final draw. I almost think it might be some kind of money grab between the company and the post office (you do have to buy postage for the return envelopes). Or as seems more likely, a psychological torture experiment of some kind.

Oh, and the notice about being one of 6 people in New Brunswick who might be a winner. Well turns out that at least 4 of the other people from New Brunswick were in my family too. Can't wait for Christmas!