The Perfect Match

There was an item on the news this morning about the preponderance of internet dating websites and the claims of finding the perfect match.  In the case of one website, you can even find the perfect person to have an affair with.  Seems like the antithesis of love to me, but what do I know?  Perspective Romeo’s (and Juliette’s) log onto a site promising true love and fill out questionnaires, answering questions like “What’s your favourite movie?” and “What is your idea of a romantic evening?”.  Then the computer algorithm sets you up with a list of potential matches.  Fine for what it’s worth, but is this really how we find love now?  Cue old man voice – “I remember back when I was your age…”

Our world has become a place where everything is done as fast as it can be.  Overnight delivery of online shopping items.  Smartphones.  Hear a song on the radio, buy it instantly.  Drive thru lanes for fast food.  Drive thru lanes for coffee.  Drive through bank machines, pharmacies, bakeries, convenience stores…  No one seems to want to take the time to do things which take time.  What are we doing with all of this saved time?  What would happen if you took the time to park and go into the store to get your coffee instead of sitting in the drive thru?  Often going in is faster and you get your coffee sooner, which means it’s hotter and better.  What if we took the time to find someone to be with as well?

Don’t get me wrong.  I realize that finding someone who you like well enough to spend time with is tough.  Finding someone who you want to potentially spend the rest of your life with is even tougher.  Sometimes it works out and sometimes not.  But is the fast food route to love really better?  I wonder if my bride and I would still be together if I had found her on the internet?  Looking back, would I have wanted to miss that ‘getting to know her’ phase of our relationship.  Learning her quirks and traits through trial and error?  Would I have chosen her from a list provided on a screen?  Would she have seemed too perfect, or not perfect enough?  I know I would certainly have used a photo that showed me to the best advantage.  Not the one of me asleep on the couch with chips and dip on my shirt and drooling onto the floor.  The internet provides a virtual reality, which is not necessarily the truth about who and what we really are.

Have you ever tried to get in shape?  Were you able to do it with a drink or magic pill?  No.  It takes work.  Sometimes hard work.  There are days when you feel like stopping.  There are days when you try harder than others.  Each step you take toward the goal gets easier and eventually you have something that is worth all of the hard work.  I think that relationships are the same.  I always tried to put everything into my relationships.  It was often hard work and they often they didn’t work out as I might have wanted.  The one thing that all of these relationships had in common is that I learned something about myself and another person.  Eventually my bride found me.  Together for almost 20 years.  Was it always easy.  Nope.  I often think that I got the better end of the deal.  I’m the first to admit that.  But we work hard at what we have.

I was once told that if something is worth having it is worth working for, if you get something too easily you often don’t appreciate it.  Call me old fashioned, but I agree.