Olympics Here We Come Pt. 2

Just about a year ago I posted a piece about the Olympics (see Olympics Here We Come 2/12/09) and how, inevitably, they are going to cost we taxpayers a fortune. Way back a year ago, the cost overruns were skyrocketing and the potential loss to Canada was huge. Now here we are a year later and guess what? Even more costs involved in the whole thing. Last year I predicted that snow storms would probably send the city of Vancouver spiralling into chaos like a 5 year old on one of those flying saucer sleds. Well, so far no storms (although I still have my fingers crossed). In fact, the exact opposite is happening. Vancouver is experiencing warmer than normal weather and the Whistler Blackcomb site is getting rain and warm temperatures which have melted the snow pack on the ski runs. Now, added to the cost of security, accommodations, travel, building venues and shuttling athletes and spectators from point a to point b, we have to add the costs for trucking in snow to the ski and snowboard runs so that the whole overblown show can go on.

This is a situation where technology can help. I know I usually bemoan the gradual slide of society into the technological commode, but in this case I think I have the solution – both to the weather problems and to the huge costs involved in this thing. Video games. Yep. Why not just pimp out a Nintendo Wii and hook it up to a giant big screen. Problem solved. Athletes no longer have to travel, they can compete online. Venues can be smaller and we could stream the whole thing on the internet so that accommodations are now people's living rooms. Weather ceases to be an issue and the whole thing goes off whether there is snow or not. Problem solved. Sure there are some technological hurdles to jump, but nothing is insurmountable. Get a few of the big brain computer people into the mix and wham bam there you are. Online Olympics and lots of cost savings.

Just remember you heard it here first Olympic Organizing Committees and make sure that the cheque is made out for $50 Million (one time idea fee, what a bargain). I'll keep my eye on the mail box.

This Blog Is Miles Pro

Is it a sign of being old that I find the language used by teenagers today to be painful to the ear? I don't mean bad language, I mean the English language. I work as a substitute teacher. I get to hear a lot of language. The swear words I hear, although often inappropriate and unintelligently used, are the same ones that were in use when I was in school, when my parents were in school and probably when my grandparents were in school. It's the every day words that are driving me nuts.

Using slang to make your point is nothing new. I remember when I was 10 or 11 every car that I thought was cool (a slang term in itself) was 'wicked'. I didn't mean that the particular car in question was 1. Morally bad. 2. Playfully mischievous or 3. Troublesome or unpleasant. Obviously it would have made no sense to refer to a sports car as 'morally bad' or 'playfully mischievous'. Neither of these meanings really conveys the coolness of the car in question. 'Wicked' in my prepubescent slang was meant as a term of desire and admiration.

The slang today just doesn't make much sense. My daughter uses the word 'random' a lot. Not in the 'lacking any definite plan or prearranged order' sense of the word. She uses it in sentences to describe events. She might be describing something that happened at school, perhaps someone got into trouble with the teacher for not having their home work done and she will finish the story by saying 'It was so random.' No. It wasn't. The kid didn't do his homework, so logically, it directly follows that he might get into trouble. There is nothing random about the sequence of events. If the kid had been rewarded with $1000 and someone else placed in a jail cell for the same offence, then yes, I would agree that would be a random event.

Another is 'sweet'. 'I love this section of the road, it is so sweet to drive on.' So the road is covered in sugar? Sweet is a descriptor of a flavour, not of the physical of mental attributes of something or someone. This is like asking someone what their favourite flavour of Popsicle is and having them reply 'purple'. Purple is a colour not a flavour.

Probably my least favourite of the slang today is the word 'pro'. 'That guy (or girl) is so pro.' He's a professional? He's for some cause or event as opposed to being against it? When I was in school if someone was a 'pro' it was because they were out behind the ball field bleachers doing things for money at lunch time. My best guess on this one is that the person in question is good at whatever they are doing. If they are really good at doing that activity they are 'real pro´ and if they are exceptional they are 'miles pro'. Which I guess could apply to the meaning I remember for this word too.

Anyway, if getting older means that I have to become a guardian of the English language and proper usage, than I guess that's o.k. Even knowing that this trend in slang will probably disappear in a few years in favour of something else is somewhat of a panacea. Until that happens though, I guess I should go out and buy some sweet, miles pro earplugs.

I Need Less Stuff… Or Fewer Hobbies

Don't get me wrong. My family is a busy one and I don't mind that. We take part in activities both as a family and as individuals. At this point, we all have things we like to do and we are fortunate enough to be able to do them. But sometimes the stuff that makes doing these activities possible gets to me. It just accumulates and I'm convinced that at some point my poor house and garage are going to just explode at the seams and vomit this stuff all over my yard.

'But it can't be that bad', I can hear you say. Really. Lets look at just a couple of our activities. My bride and children like to cross country ski. So in regards to that we have ski boots (in various sizes and styles), skis, poles, wax for the skis and little tools for spreading it and smoothing it and clothing for skiing. I, on the other hand, like to snow shoe, so I have snow shoes (and the rest of the family does too) and poles for that, as well as clothing for snow shoeing. That's not the worst of it though. At least these items get used on a fairly regular basis during the season (assuming we have more snow than we do right now on average). Oh, did I mention that we also have skates that rarely get used but unfortunately don't disappear when not in use? That's not even taking into account the guitars, fiddle, drum, piano keyboard, French horn, canoe, paddles, PFDs, exercise equipment, ball gloves, balls and the thousand other items that it takes to keep these things in working order that seem to find their way into the house and garage.

Let's move on to mountain biking. I love this sport. It combines skill, speed and a slight element of danger with the outdoors. I also got a new bike recently so that's good too. But the stuff involved with maintaining a fleet of bicycles is unreal. Spread out between my basement and garage are bicycles, various extra tires and tubes, tools, spare parts, extra pedals, seats, cables and rims. The worst thing about it is that all of it is necessary because it only takes one breakdown on a Saturday evening to put an end to your biking for the weekend if you don't happen to have an extra thingamajig, and the bike shop is closed. When I say that I have a bare bones operation in regards to out bikes, I mean bare bones. I am the first to head out to the bike shop for repairs. Usually it is much easier for them to do things than it is for me. They're also faster. I have just enough to get me out of a bind if need be. But that's still a lot of stuff.

Then there is archery. Aside from bows and arrows there is specific tool kit for this sport. There are things in this area that are used for nothing else and have no other use than to keep the arrows flying. Believe me when I say there is nothing better for putting feathers on arrows than a fletching jig. It is fantastic. Does that job incredibly well. But it has no other use. Granted, because my daughter is getting really good I use it a couple of times a month during archery season (she shoots the feathers off her arrows sometimes) but it still takes up space. Then there are the feathers, arm guards, finger slings, and strings and bow squares and…

I guess I shouldn't complain. From the stories on the news lately about the health of Canadians, I think my family is doing o.k. But the stuff. Ugh! I guess it could be worse -- my kids could play hockey.